It’s August in Tokyo. Where we westerners are accustomed to the unbearable beating sun, here it’s about 80 degrees with 80% humidity. It’s not hot, but it’s about as hot as Japan gets and the humidity is taxing.
It’s especially harsh for Gianmarco Tamberi, a high jumper from Italy. After clearing his first 7 jumps up to 2.37 meters (7.78 ft), he’s looking down the barrel of an Olympic record 2.39 meters – A height he’s failed to clear twice.
Olympic high jump is unlike swimming or track. All of your attempts take place on the same day. Over the span of 3 hours you must jump higher and higher until you’re the last one standing. 2 hours and 33 minutes in, Gianmarco is alone on the track save for one other man: Mutaz Barshim from Qatar. In the open air and amongst the humidity and heat, they’ve matched each other step-for-step. With one jump remaining, Gianmarco has the chance many of us dream of: To conquer this high-pressure moment and walk off as World Champion.
Gianmarco makes his way to the starting point, discarding an old cast as he hypes up the crowd. That cast is marked in sharpie with the phrase “Road to Tokyo 2021” after Tamberi missed the Rio Olympics with a broken ankle. He had won every individual high jump tournament that year and was a heavy favorite to win Olympic gold before the injury. But now, 4 years removed from his prime, with tens of thousands of fans clapping in unison, Gianmarco tears across the track towards the bar…
And he botches it.
His back clashes awkwardly against the marker, sending the bar tumbling down with him toward the crash pad. Taking just a half-moment to anguish in the attempt, he quickly turns his focus to what’s next: A jump off.
Olympic officials call together long-time friends Tamberi and Barshim and propose a new height for them to jump at somewhere just below the 2.37 meters but above what they had both cleared over the last 3 hours. Exhausted, Barshim turns to the official and asks a simple question:
“Can we have two golds?”
Moments later, after celebratory tears and national anthems, Tamberi and Barshim stood atop the podium together as the first Co-Gold medalists since 1912.
News channels and social media pundits picked it up expeditiously, calling it “heartwarming,” “beautiful,” and “a superhuman display of sportsmanship.”
I think it’s bullshit.
You know how you prove you’re the best? You push yourself further. You either die on your sword or you slay every challenger that dares to meet you.
This past summer, Hamish Kerr of New Zealand and American Shelby McEwan faced the same scenario. After hours of matching each other’s jumps while thinning out the field, Kerr offered to be Co-Champions with McEwan. You know what the American said?
“We jumpin’.”
20 minutes later, Kerr beat McEwan in the jump off and the United States walked away with a silver. So what do we take away from this, you may ask?
Sometimes you’re feeling at your best and the rug gets swept from under you. Sometimes you’re feeling like you’re out in front of your skis and you have no choice but to lean into it to see how far that’ll take you. Sometimes you feel like it’s your moment when it’s someone else’s.
Sometimes there’s magic and sometimes there’s not.
They say that starting 0-4 is a death sentence, but last season Will started 0-4 just to win 10 of his next 13 matchups. You never know what’s going to happen or who will break out or who will never get going. Speculation is all bunk and nothing matters until the players are on the field. No one knows anything and it’s a farce to think otherwise. “Experts” are just people paid to regurgitate the same 3 talking points as everyone else. I mean Dave Smith won a fantasy championship drafting a backup running back in the first round so who can say what a “good” team even looks like?
With that being said, let’s judge some drafts!
This year I’ve aggregated power rankings from as many
sources as I can find to create the Sproles Predictive Aggregate Ranking Kappa,
or SPARK. This is what will determine the order for this year’s preseason Power
Rankings. I’ve also included Football Guys’ little blurb about each teams’ odds
of making playoffs so you can brag to your friends on Facebook (Lindy).
I think that covers everything. Welcome back.
1.) Maserati Marv Racing Club (98.09 SPARK, 80.33% chance of Playoffs)
It’s been a rough two years, folks.
I remember laying in bed last December after officially missing playoffs. I finished 7-7 and even that was an uphill climb. My top 2 picks, Travis Kelce and Nick Chubb, were hurt all season. My namesake Calvin Ridley was a bust in the 4th. Christian Watson stunk. Cam Akers was practically cut from the Rams. Trevor Lawrence was as much of a disappointment as a career at the UFC is to Catholic parents.
Bob and Lindy when they're asked what I do for a living.
Two of my bright spots, Devon Achane and Sam Laporta, had to get cut early in the season to backfill my injured starters. And after all that I finished 7-7 just outside of playoffs for the second straight year.
So yeah, I laid in bed and asked my beautiful wife (in earnest), “what’s happened to me?”
“What are you talking about?” She responded, already knowing but refusing to acknowledge it as a serious course of conversation.
“I used to be so good. I used to just kick ass and then get unlucky. For two years now, though… I’ve sucked.”
And I have. 11-17 with my two lowest-scoring seasons.
Christa tried to make excuses. “Nick you were 22. You’re married now. You have a career.” But I could see in her eyes that she knew I was a failure, too.
I needed to take this more seriously.
Part of that was admitting to myself the hard truth: I’ve taken it easy. I’ve slacked off. I mean come on, Calvin Ridley in the 4th? When Eddie interjects to say “great pick,” you know you’ve made a grave mistake. Travis Kelce and Deandre Swift in the 1st? That’s on me. I used to draft Hall of Famers in their primes. I used to stay up until 4am when I worked nights so that I’d be the first to move on guys that had cleared waivers. Now look a me: Asleep at 4 like some chump?
Heck, I haven’t published a Power Rankings blog since 2021. It’s only 5000 words over 12 pages to write with my abundance of free time. When did I get so soft? 9 people will read this one time (if I’m lucky).
Me not wanting to waste my time for literally no reason.
But that’s all behind me. I’ve shed that cocoon of failure and excuses and embraced my destiny. Am I God’s Gift to Fantasy Football? No. Is the world (or the league) out to get me because I’m essentially a Half-PPR superpower? No. Do you all hate being matched up against me because I’m such a threat to ruin your week? Probably not. I’m simply a level-headed, middle-aged white male who has made Fantasy Football his entire identity since he was 19. Nothing worrisome about that.
And only by embracing those truths have I realized what lies beyond it: This is easy.
I mean, you people let Tyreek Hill fall to 6? Are you sure? In the 3rd I was between Rookie sensation Marvin Harrison Jr. (whose dad is a Hall of Famer, by the way) and Drake London (who finally has a top-50 QB for once) and you were all kind enough to just let me have both. It’s sweet, really.
And speaking of Hall-of-Famers in their prime…James Conner? David Montgomery? Hello??? Are you people sure you’re looking at the top-300?
In all seriousness, though, I’m fine. I can’t wait to lose 3 of my first 4 and pick the wrong waiver RB while Will chooses correctly and coasts to another Championship. Speaking of…
2.) Ball Quaeda (97.75 SPARK, 83.67% chance of Playoffs)
Let me start this one off by saying that this year’s rankings are the closest top-to-bottom of any year that I’ve tracked. Normally there are two or so top teams, some middling teams, and then four absolute DUDS at the bottom. Does that make sense? There’s a definitive elite tier, a large middle class that hopes to rise but is, in reality, plummeting towards a DISMALL and DESOLATE and UNLIVABLE poverty-stricken third tier. Someone should really do something about that.
Anyway, what I’m trying to say is that Will comes in at the 2 spot, but he’s closer to the one than any other 2nd-ranked team I’ve seen. The analytics love him (as is evident by his league-high playoff prediction rate).
It’s kind of a ragtag team that communicates well and is on the same page and is able to overcome incredible odds to accomplish something that no one thought possible. I’m not a professional football coach so I can’t really think of a good comparison but maybe Bills coach Sean McDermott can:
Sean McDermott spoke to the media regarding a reference he made to 9/11 in a team meeting back in 2019 (as stated in @TyDunne's article).
— Heather Prusak (@haprusak) December 7, 2023
Here is part of what McDermott said, saying he referenced it to emphasize the importance of communication. pic.twitter.com/SDhaJfKbdT
Except this team is not a ragtag group of nobodies. Will drafted FIFTH overall (that’s half of the ten people in this league) and walked away with the likes of Ceedee Lamb, Puka Nakua, Sam Laporta, Jaylen Waddle, Nick Chubb (and his stand-in Jerome Ford), Devin Singletary, Alvin Kamara, Jameson Williams…
WHAT ARE YOU PEOPLE DOING? DO YOU EVEN WANT TO WIN OR DO YOU JUST ENJOY SEEING ME SUFFER?
You have to stop gifting him studs. You have to, right? I mean…statistically he can’t do this year after year after year.
We all know how this ends. Will has a terrible week one and gets the top waiver wire claim that he’ll ride to a playoff appearance. He may not be the top seed but he trounces his first two opponents just to play it close in the championship before Ceedee Lamb says “oh right, I’m capable of putting up 200 yards in 1 game and half the Captain’s League passed over me for some reason” and then Will leaves with his FOURTH championship.
And then I have to just SIT and DWELL on it for 8 months
before you people LET HIM DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN.
Nice team, Will!
3.) Titus Terror (95.18 SPARK, 74.33% chance of Playoffs)
I’d like to congratulate Corey for sitting through an entire Captain’s League draft this year. The last time that happened was 2021 when Corey wound up with Justin Jefferson, Cooper Kupp, Jalen Hurts… Oh wait, no. That was an autodraft. Let me see…
Ah yes. The year was 2018. Corey shared a team with Matt Smith. They both came to the draft and finished the year 11th out of 12.
That obviously did not work out well for the boy, but Corey’s clearly learned a lot in the 6 years since he last finished a draft. He’s picked up lessons like: Draft 1st overall, don’t draft 7 straight wide receivers, and always double down on QBs and defenses. According to 2016’s 113th best Fantasy Expert Field Yates (the only year he has finished in the top 175), Corey has a great team!
ESPN calling Field Yates
Ignoring the obvious great pick in CMC, Corey’s stacked his deck with the likes of Joe Mixon, Evan Engram, the Ghost of Austin Ekeler, and Tua Tagovailoa (who had an all-time passing season last year and still didn’t crack the top-10 of Fantasy QBs). Oh and did I mention that he drafted two defenses?
With all of that being said, Corey is highly ranked for being at the 3-spot. He’s closer to the top than he is to the tier break below him. Much like his nemesis Gabe, Corey had a lengthy string of bad luck before taking a mental health leave of absence from the League. Upon his return, though, he’s been a steady contender.
Last year was Corey’s first time finishing .500 or worse since that fateful 2018 season. Looking at his team through that lens, we can see a different picture:
James Cook is a monster who will command more touches with so many of Buffalo’s receivers gone. Keon Coleman could step into a great role with one of the top QBs in the NFL. Davonta Smith, Malik Nabers, and Zay Flowers are all studs expecting the best years of their careers who were (in my opinion) vastly better than the other players drafted around them.
Maybe Corey’s cooked. Or maybe Chip is cooking.
4.) CAN’T TOUCH THIS (93.52 SPARK, 77.33% chance of Playoffs)
Jeff Fischer is one of my favorite coaches of all-time.
On one hand, he’s up with guys like Jon Gruden, Sean Payton, Bruce Arians, Mike McCarthey, John Madden, and other coaches to win one Super Bowl – A highly sought after achievement that people spend their entire lives chasing. Many fail and most don’t ever come close. Jeff Fischer, however, did.
On the other hand…There are the memes. Bruce Arians once famously called Jeff Fischer “Always 8-8” because of his notorious reputation for finishing at (or around) .500 – Finishing many a season with as many losses as wins. Some years that gets you into the playoffs and some years you’re just left out.
August 8th (8/8) is actually known unofficially in NFL circles as “Jeff Fischer Day” for this exact reason. Between 1994 and 2016, Fischer finished TEN seasons at or within one game of 8-8. That’s almost half of the seasons he acted as Head Coach finishing with only half of the games won. He finished his coaching career with a record of 173-165-1, or just above .500.
In 2016, Fischer famously stood in front of his Rams team at the start of the season. He had heard enough of the jokes. Coming off of SIX-STRAIGHT seasons finishing with somewhere between 6 to 8 wins, he was fed up.
“I'm not f***ing going 7-9,” Fischer said, drawing his attention to Rams new QB Jared Goff. “Or 8-8. Or 9-7. Or 10-6 for that matter.”
"I'm not f***ing going 7-9. Or 8-8. Or 9-7. Or 10-6 for that matter."
— uSTADIUM (@uSTADIUM) December 1, 2016
Jeff Fisher's #Rams are 4-7 with a trip to the #Patriots on Sunday. pic.twitter.com/ERn8sp6bNc
And he was right. Fischer finished 4-9 and was quickly replaced by Sean McVay. Oh! He’s another coach with one Super Bowl win. I somehow forgot that one.
What does this have to do with Lindy? Well, on one hand, Lindy has one Championship along with the likes of Dave Smith, Cheryl Smith, Sean Brown, and Nick Brown.
On the other hand, Lindy has finished at or within one game of .500 5 times in the last 10 seasons. Of those other 5 seasons, she has been below .500 three times and only above it twice.
Some would say Lindy’s due. She left her fastest draft with studs like Amon-Ra St. Brown, Jahmyr Gibbs, Josh Allen, Deandre Hopkins, and my boy Deonte Johnson.
History is history, though, and it repeats itself. Gibbs is already nursing a hamstring, Tony Pollard lost the starting job, and Lindy’s RB2 is working behind one of the worst offenses (and offensive lines) in the league. She needs a come-to-Jesus moment. She needs to look these boys in the eyes and tell them that she’s not finishing 6-8. Or 7-7. Or 8-6…
And please not 4-10…
5.) Bijan’s Brigade (93.00 SPARK, 74% chance of Playoffs)
Full disclosure: Gabe, Tim, and Lindy have virtually the same scores across the board. It was incredibly difficult for the numbers to rank one above the others, so consider Tim to be more of a 4.5 than a 5 and Gabe a 5 rather than a 6. In fact, Lindy and Gabe had the exact same average contributing to their SPARK scores but the vast difference between each person’s variance allowed Tim to sneak between them.
Aside from the Top-2 teams, Tim comes in with the lowest variance of anyone. His scores were extremely consistent (which is good) in that they all placed Tim to finish as a fringe playoff team (which isn’t necessarily bad but it’s not ideal). It’s pretty easy to see why he got those scores, though.
Tim’s RBs are great. Stellar, even. I’d go so far as to say that Tim’s Top-2 RBs are the strongest duo in the league. His WRs are a different story: Overspending for “your” guys can be costly and taking Deebo over Nico Collins and Devonta Smith seems to be a prime case of it. Pair that cost with Chris Olave and his new situation as your WR1 and there is cause to be concerned.
Tim’s no doofus, though. Since coming into the league, he’s made playoffs every season except one. No matter where he is ranked or where he takes his annual 49er (or who that 49er is), Tim will make measured moves and compete at a level that most can’t keep up with.
Call him unassuming. Call him predictable. Call him whatever you like, as long as you call him a winner, too.
6.) Hot Nasty Speed (92.36 SPARK, 70% chance of Playoffs)
A few months back I was invited to partake in my first Dynasty League, which involves a month-long draft for players that I’ll retain until they retire. It’s…draining, but it’s really exciting and it’s fun to build a team for the future rather than a single-season run.
As I began to do research for it, I read a lot of articles about various players and team changes: Rookies coming into the league, coaches taking over that have new schemes, veterans coming into new situations, etc. After a lot of analytics and statistics and film breakdowns, I needed something lighter. That’s when I turned to podcasts.
I opened up Spotify and turned on a show with some really funny hosts. It was light and entertaining and didn’t go too heavily into the more granular details of football. I liked it! So I flipped over to an episode on each host’s favorite players for the upcoming season. Here are a few highlights:
Breece Hall – “I love Breece Hall. I think first off, and this is kind of like the foundation for every one of these players that I'm gonna talk about today. He's really f****** good. He is really good. He's explosive…the team is gonna be a lot better in theory around him.”
Devon Achane – “This is a guy I stomped for a lot in the pre-draft process. Devon Achane. Running Back. Dolphins. Maybe my favorite player of all time…I love this guy. I think he's so explosive, so fun to watch.”
Then, as they talked about Achane, they said it. They said what they really love about him:
“Hot, nasty speed.”
Some other players they love? Anthony Richardson, Josh Palmer… Gabe boosted his whole roster from the podcast. He even lifted his name from the podcast.
Gabe drafting his team with his headphones in.
Imitation is the greatest form of flattery, and I’m not one to question podcasts as a source of information (UFC Unfiltered airs every Monday and Wednesday), but the hosts of this podcast ranked outside of the top 175 amongst all qualifying Fantasy “experts.”
Some of you (myself included) may still be saying “Gabe’s team still looks pretty good. I mean it doesn’t take a genius to say Breece Hall and Devon Achane are good picks. I’d rather have them than Bijan and Chris Olave.” All fair points, so let’s take a look at why he’s down here at 6.
On average, Gabe’s projected to finish higher than both Tim and Lindy, but his projected variance is more on par with teams in the 7-10 range. Some sites have Gabe ranked as high as 4 while ESPN places him at 10th overall. To Gabe’s credit, though, ESPN knows as much about fantasy football as Bill Simmons.
I think Gabe’s score is low because his bench features two replacements for singular positions. Two QBs, two TEs. I like his RBs and WRs but everyone who doesn’t have an injury history is in a muddied situation. This team might pop off and Gabe has another contender come December, or he’ll be stuck with a lineup of Purdy-Warren-Brown-Collins-Worthy-Kittle come week 5.
If he has the former? Easily a playoff contender I personally don’t want to run into. If it’s the latter? You’re looking like me over the last two years hoping for 80 points a week.
7.) Strictly Bangers (90.35 SPARK, 74% chance of Playoffs)
The desert is quiet at 4am. Even in Las Vegas, the night is finished but it’s not quite morning. Winds sweep the sands gently, resetting them from the footsteps and stains of the previous day. Without so much as the slightest hint of daylight, it’s never more peaceful.
Robert Brown sits on his porch. He’s got a hot cup of coffee and memories of days past. Looking out over the dark, he pictures the summer he spent in Yosemite. Listening to the silence he can hear the breeze blowing through the sequoias. He can hear the bees course through Tuolumne Meadows, and he can practically feel the waters just below El Capitan.
Bob dabs his brush in paint, coating it just enough to begin to translate these memories to canvas. Looking up at the moon, he traces it’s shape, shadow, and presence across a morning sky just above arid, sandstone cliffs. Each sweep of the brush is…easy. Effortless, even. There’s a peacefulness to it that only comes from knowing its opposite.
A smile breaks across his face. No amount of success or praise can amount to the ease that follows the freshness of youth, and man was his youth something to behold. Years before Betty’s Village or being Publisher for the Review-Journal he tasted victory on the stage, in the fields, and on the gridiron. Records, trophies, banners… Tokens of the past lost much like the stories these cliffs have witnessed.
He expunges the brush, making it new again by baptizing it in water just as the sun breaks over the hills in the distance. With just a few taps to dry it, he readies himself to bring the cliffs to life with shadow. Nothing is complete without its darkness, and the West is no different. Bringing the brush up towards the jagged pillars of stone, he hears a noise behind him.
CRASH.
The easel snaps. His coffee mug slips and shatters. The ground is littered with droplets of smeared paint, dirty water, and half-drank coffee. Bob’s disaster dog, Portia, scampers through the scene on her way to chase a phantom in the fading dawn. She’s ruined his work, and she’s too unaware to pay for it.
Bob sighs, cleaning up the mess and taking one last look at
a now-tarnished masterpiece. With his final stroke before disaster, he had not
painted a shadow. No, he had instead named the shadow brought to form. His
fingers had guided the brush down the length of the cliff in the darkest black
leaving only the words “Jared Golf.”
Jared Goff was drafted during Obama’s presidency and, despite having a last name that consists of FOUR LETTERS, the husband of Nevada’s premiere Spelling Bee expert cannot pronounce his last name correctly.
Look, I’ve learned by now not to doubt Bobby B’s fantasy acumen. Some years he drafts ugly but this is not one of those years. I love Javonte as an RB3. I love Tank Dell. I love the idea of having Lamar Jackson on a roster with Saquon Barkley and a “healthy” Kyren Williams.
It’s…weird drafting Antonio Gibson and Jared Goff, but at least you have two spots you can easily fill after week one when it’s time for waivers. The analytics worry that the depth is short with only 4 wide receivers and a 12th round pick spent on last year’s top defense (sans their coordinator), but again: Who am I to doubt a 3-time champion?
8.) New Blood (90.18 SPARK, 59% chance of Playoffs)
New Blood is entering his 4th season in the league and his 3rd straight starting in the bottom 3rd of the league. In years past I’d lay into Jimmy here but I have to admit that I like this roster more than the data does.
Jimmy started strong: Who among us wouldn’t love to have Jamarr Chase and Garrett Wilson at WR? And for such a WR-heavy start, he leveraged the available pass-catching RBs in Walker and White. Pair that with some extra depth at RB and you have a team built to compete.
Maybe you could argue that Jimmy reached for “his” guys later on, but that’s what the late part of the draft is for. I honestly think that this was Jimmy’s best draft yet (and it wasn’t entirely because his mic was muted the whole time).
Jimmy trying to figure out video chats in the year of our Lord 2024.
I decided to go back and figure out what the algorithm didn’t like about this team and the answer is quite simple: It’s a project. Where some teams have set-and-forget players across the board, Jimmy is going to have to swap positions on a weekly basis and rely heavily on waiver pickups if things start slow.
That 59% chance listed above is the lowest of any team this year, but if Jimmy is great as a manager then it jumps to a 75% chance. Can Jimmy make the leap that we’ve seen from the likes of Jordan Love, CJ Stroud, or even Gabe? Time will tell.
[Champ's Note: Please change your team name.]
9.) Fast Eddie (89.80 SPARK, 69.67% chance of Playoffs)
Now that we’ve dipped below the 90 SPARK score mark, I have good news and bad news. Let’s start with the good news, as you all know how negative I can get in the lower parts of the power rankings: Last year I did not write a blog, but I had pieced together the starting rankings of one using similar (but not totally identical) calculations. Those preseason rankings had FOUR teams below 90. In fact, those four teams had scores of 86.83, 86.17, 85.67, and a dismal 83.17.
With a score of 89.80, Eddie is well above the bottom 4-ranked teams from last year. That’s the good news.
Eddie, just stop reading now.
The bad news is that those 4 teams were Jimmy, Chip, Lindy, and Sean. 3 of those teams missed Playoffs. I’ve modified the preseason model from the past to try to try and be more predictive which obviously does not bode well for Eddie’s team.
Eddie actually had the top score last year post-draft at 96.33, but let’s analyze why: Eddie left last year’s draft with some big names: Tyreek Hill, AJ Brown, Josh Allen… He picked up rookies late in Jordan Addison, Zach Charbonnet, and Dalton Kincaid.
See, Eddie has learned that his old strategy of waiting on QB and taking an RB early wasn’t paying off. In 2022 he drafted Joe Mixon in the first and was left with Russell Wilson at QB. Eddie replicated his more recent strategy but was hellbent on stacking his QB with a stud WR. This is something that can definitely pay off if done well, but what about the rest of Eddie’s team?
He has talent at RB but paid up for question marks: Josh Jacobs is playing for a coach who has never given an RB the touches Jacobs is accustomed to. Deandre Swift has an exciting QB but every coaching staff he’s ever played for has opted to start less talented guys over him for various reasons. He got Kincaid again but at a higher cost and still spent on a 2nd tight end. Could it all work out? Sure, but if it doesn’t he’s left with minimal depth at the position.
Eddie did the best he could while drafting 10th overall, but would you rather have Jefferson, AJ Brown, Jacobs, Hurts, and Swift or AJ Brown, Jahmyr Gibbs, Mike Evans, Hurts, and Swift? I’ll take the latter.
10.) Joe Buck Yourself (89.54 SPARK, 77.67% chance of Playoffs)
Castro Valley, California. A lovely little town a stone’s throw from Oakland. It’s 1995 so parents felt safe letting their kids run amuck in the neighborhood so long as they returned by sundown. On this particular day, atop a grand hill crowned with a cul de sac, the action has moved off the street and into the backyard of a boy named Tony.
Tony’s a good kid. He’s a natural soccer player but the athleticism carries over to games like tag, touch football, and the age-old pastime of throwing things as high as you possibly can.
Tony had a cannon, especially compared to his best friend Sean. Sean’s arm wasn’t bad, per say, but he was more accustomed to throwing punches than hucking things. Where Sean shined with his throws was with the official 1991 Tyco Crash Test Dummy CRASH PLANE: A toy that would shatter and eject it’s pilot on impact like, well, no certifiable aircraft in history.
Sean loved the crash plane. He’d throw it far, he’d throw it high, and he’d cackle with devious delight as it shattered.
And today, Sean planned his greatest crash yet. Climbing up the rocks in Tony’s backyard, the boys giggled in anticipation. The plan was simple: Climb, launch, and watch. With step one done and over with, Sean wound up his right arm…
In an instant, Ted the pilot was in the stratosphere. For a moment, I’m sure he felt like a God: Seeing the other planes eye-to-eye. Like all good things, though, magic happens but for only a moment. The nose of the plane tilted down towards the long plunge below.
MAYDAY! MAYDAYYYYY!!!
Much like how the crash plane dropped over the fence never to be seen again, Sean’s team missed the mark.
For a guy that hasn’t said a positive thing about his favorite football team since 2016, drafting Davante Adams is a bold move. Pairing that with Kelce and Mahomes is just salt in the wound.
I could wax poetic about this team, but I’ll just say this: Stefon Diggs is already disgruntled on the sidelines for the Texans and it’s preseason. If Jerry Jeudy doesn’t become who he was expected to be then it could be a LONG year for Sean’s WR corps.
And he still has a higher chance of making playoffs than Eddie.
