Hey everyone! Since First Lady Christa
Gordon is in town I am going to keep this one short. Have a great week.
1.) (LW #3) Joe Buck Yourself, 2-1 [114 PPG, .201 NPRP]
Life is beautiful, folks. Life if
especially beautiful for the birthday boy who is now atop the rankings just 2
days after snagging this now-famous picture:
Not only is Sean #1 in the rankings and #2
in points scored, he has done it without his 2nd round pick and
without a SINGLE oint scored from his tight ends all season. Impressive.
2.) (LW #8) Team Tiddles, 2-1 [102.67 PPG, .181 NPRP]
Ryan’s team changed it’s name and got a
win. Does the name make sense? No, but you can’t argue with the guy averaging
102.67 PPG.
Well, actually you can, because Ryan thinks
he should be #1 despite a significant amount of math that points to the
contrary. See Ryan, you’re averaging 12 points less PER GAME than Sean. You’re
also .020 Power Rankings points behind him. That’s FOUR times the number of
points that separate you from the number 3 spot. Be thankful with where you’re
at.
3.) (LW #1) Judge Richard Berman’s Team, 2-1 [99.67 PPG, .176 NPRP]
There was a little stutter this past week
in the revenge tour to drop Will from #1 to #3, and it may be a rough going in
week 4 with the Patriots on BYE, but Will is built for the playoffs, not for
the insignificant week.
Expect a short decline followed by a
powerhouse from Week 5 on.
4.) (LW #4) Lindy’s Lynch Mob, 2-1 [98.67 PPG, .174 NPRP]
Mom may have passive aggressively beaten
her youngest son using her favorite weapons (racism and short text messages),
but it wasn’t enough to move her past him in the rankings.
Will a Sunday breakfast provided by Nicky B
and a matchup against the “lesser Hewett” bump her up enough to satisfy her
racist urges? We will soon find out.
5.) (LW #5) Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood, 2-1 [94.67 PPG, .167 NPRP]
Not much to say about Bobby B. He really
pounded Dave this week.
His words, not mine.
6.) (LW #11) Fast Eddie, 1-2 [117.67 PPG, .166 NPRP]
Eddie! You got your first win! How are you
feeling?
His body was overseas, but his heart was in Fantasyland.
Good! Good. And let me just say that you
did it in impressive fashion! That was quite the beating you gave me! But I
guess that’s what I get for calling my shot like that on the blog.
I’m still amazed that you put up 159 points
with LeGarrete Blount (0 points before this week), David Johnson (5 rushing
attempts before this week), Jimmy Graham (7 catches before this week), Steve
Smith (elderly), and the Rams D!
Honestly, congrats on the win. But I’ll be
coming back healthy next time we play. You’ve been warned…
7.) (LW #4) Laced Jam, 2-1 [89.33 PPG, .158 NPRP]
Just absolute garbage. Honestly, I’m
ashamed to call this my team at the moment.
I have consistently been a top 4 team in
this league. I score a lot of points and I talk a lot of trash. But it has been
3 weeks and I have yet to hit triple digits. Not only has this never happened
to me, but I didn’t consider it a possibility.
It doesn’t feel like I’ve won 2 games, even
though I have. I don’t deserve this record, but you bet your asses that I’m
making changes and coming for that trophy…
8.) (LW #12) The Tropicana Comeback, 1-2 [97.67 PPG, .138 NPRP]
Love the team name and love the point
total. Last week I roasted him on the blog like he was garlic in an Italian
restaurant, but he took it to heart and blew the living daylights out of
Curtis. What a win and what a bright future for the Tropicana (come check out
the new magic show!).
9.) (LW #7) TALKIN BOUT’ MOCKDRAFTS, 1-2 [95.67 PPG, .135 NPRP]
What happened, Matt?
I’m told you still read this, so I’m asking
you: What happened? Who did this to you? Give me a name.
Your family is counting on you Matt. You
have the best ranking out of all of them and you’re 9th. Bring home
some wins, big guy.
10.) (LW #6) Wiggity Wiggity Wack, 1-2 [91.67 PPG, .130 NPRP]
Cheryl, Cheryl, Cheryl…it’s been a rough
year so far, hasn’t it? First was that anomaly in Week One, then you have a
great week Two, and now this little piece of frustration in Week Three?
It’s been hard on you, I know. But look up…see
that daylight? I want you to run for it. Run as fast as you can. That’s
tomorrow, Cheryl, and it’s a better day.
Keep your chin up..
11.) (LW #9) Rank This, 1-2 [76.33 PPG, .108 NPRP]
Dave! What happened? You’re .001 points
away from being in last place. Completely unacceptable. I hope you return to
form soon, since you’re whole family is at the bottom of the rankings…
12.) (LW #10) Staff Infection, 1-2 [75.33 PPG, .107 NPRP]
Curtis has finally fallen to where he
belongs. After FINALLY picking up a kicker, Curt failed to start the man and
lost by a considerable margin.
I don’t know what else to say Curtis other
than expect a call this week or maybe just adspace down here in the future,
because I don’t see you winning for awhile.
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