1.) (LW #3) Cobra Commanders 6-3, 110.11 PPG [.167 NPRP]
Déjà vu much?!?! In the epic rematch of the Week One drudging of Bobby B, Mama B showed no mercy.
Actually, she did, scheduling her cuckold husband for Peyton Manning Fantasy Superstar's BYE WEEK. Without her highest scorer, she still put up the second highest team total of the season with 151.
This trouncing of a weak opponent (much like a lioness slowly maiming an antelope, seeking revenge for the fall of Mufasa) launched the Commanders ahead of League Hero Curtis Smith.
And how could it not? At 110 points per game, she is dominating all things fantasy this week following a bit of a fantasy dry spell.
Hopefully, her reign of power continues this week as she faces off against League Luckster Dave Smith. I think we all know who we're rooting for in this week's Game of the Week.
2.) (LW #2) Probation 6-3, 105.56 PPG [.176 NPRP]
THE KID!!! Curtis floated like a butterfly and stings like a bee as he downs Fantasy Joe Frazier Dave Smith (if Frazier was built mostly on luck).
With his quarterback going down on the opening drive, Curtis STILL beat up the Dropping Ranks by almost 40 points (and putting up 102 at that!).
Curtis' team may be the most consistent in our league right now, scoring NO FEWER than 86 points in any one game on the season. This kid is scary, and I think we'll be talking about him come Championship weekend.
There is no rest for those on probation, though, as Curtis faces off against the zombie, Sean Brown. This game could knock Sean out of playoff contention, so this will be a GREAT game.
3.) (LW #1) Rank This 6-3, 103.22 PPG [.172 NPRP]
Looks like the luck ran out.
After rejecting ANOTHER one of my trades (to a player who put up double digits), Dave responded that it wouldn't be very lucky of him to accept. Well, it looks like quite the contrary.
FINALLY facing an opponent with a decent week, Rank This collapsed and knocked himself from the number one seed to being out of the playoffs (if they started today).
BUT all is not lost. Dave is still in a favorable position.
With all the disrespect I have given him this year, it's time we admit that this is a good team. We cannot possibly expect 2 straight games of 60ish points. AND, Melinda historically has lost to good teams.
PLUS, this is of course the rematch of what will go down as one of the craziest finishes in league history. This is the game to watch this week. If Drew Brees has another good game to compete with Pey Pey, we should see more fireworks.
Genuinely, good luck, Dave.
4.) (LW #4) ~ Roswelker 5-4, 107.22 PPG [.167 NPRP]
Another big week for Sean against a high scoring team. He STILL has the second-highest unit in the league.
There really isn't a whole lot to say about the desert squad. Every game is win-or-go-home right now, with 3 divisional teams looming down on him. A rough start for a good squad, it's hard to predict how this team finishes.
However, things appear to be in his favor this week, facing a Probation team without Aaron Rodgers (due to injury as of this writing) as well as Jamaal Charles, Chris Ivory, Gronk, and Josh Gordon to byes.
Sean shouldn't worry too much about what appears to be a big matchup. Yes, he's lost to Curtis before, but this kid is gunning for history and fate is riding beside him.
5.) (LW#5) Mama's Homemade Salsa 5-4, 99.44 PPG [.155 NPRP]
A rough week for the salsa again, but a win's a win. And, more importantly, it solidifies a one-game lead in the Eastern division for this team.
And after putting up 60 points with it's first three players, this team still wound up below 100 points for the 3rd straight week (and dropping his PPG to 6th in the league). This team appears to be fire-or-flicker in terms of performance, which is worrisome coming into week 10.
Wanting to focus on playoffs, the Salsa comes into this week against his own father in a rematch of what should have been last year's championship game.
This doesn't sound like a good game, in fact it sounds like a potential blowout. However, Bobby B just ended a three-game winning streak despite the fact that his last 4 weeks have been 4 out of his top 5 best performances on the season.
It should be a tough game that can't be slept on.
6.) (LW #6) ~ Mosstradamus 4-5, 95.556 PPG [.138 NPRP]
Another tough fantasy week for Will. Coming into one of the biggest rivalry games of the season, Will considered starting superstar Randy Moss.
Unfortunately, Fox Sports 1 pro bowler Moss couldn't have helped his namesake.
Two weeks straight of 60-point performances have plummeted Will in the rankings.
Luckily though, he's still just one game back of first place in his division. And luckily, Will faces Fantasy Vegetable Matt Smith.
No matter how poorly he plays this week, as long as he puts in effort, he should pull out this win.
7.) (LW #8) Insane Clown Posse 4-5, 93.333 PPG [.135 NPRP]
As stated above, this week wasn't a bad thing for Bobby B.
I mean, despite benching Tom Brady (and his 40 point performance), despite benching CJ Spiller (and his 15 pints), and despite benching Keenan Allen (and his 20 points), this wasn't a bad week.
Why? Because now he doesn't have to worry. He's not making playoffs. Unless somehow every other team ties and it counts as a loss due to an ESPN glitch, his season can be considered done.
Why is this good? Because now he has the ability to focus solely on messing up EVERYONE ELSE'S playoff hopes.
And even better? He's had four of his best weeks in a row. He's currently riding out the peak of his season going into crunch time.
This week he will take on the Salsa, and you can put money on the fact that he wants to start ruining the kid's season.
8.) (LW #7) Broken Clavicles 4-5, 89.111 PPG [.129 PPG]
Matt Smith woke up at noon. He rolled over in his bed to check his phone.
One text message, from Kendall.
"Hey, thx for last nite. Dinner was gr8. Luv u. :)"He smiled. Things were starting to look up for him. And yes, dinner at Agave was fantastic. The drinks? Tasty, teasing his palette while still providing enough of a kick to put hair on his chest.
The tacos? Everything he had dreamed of. In all his years, Matt had had that recurring dream where he floated weightlessly in a utopian field of tacos; with melted cheese that drew you in to the whole, juicy beef. The spices were enough to make his mouth water while being subtle enough to not lengthen the time between bites.
The girl? Beautiful. Even though things had been on the ropes with Kendall over the past few months, this felt like an upswing. She had quit smoking and felt happy again. It was beautiful in every sense of the word.
The salsa? Oddly mild. Yet, brutal. It was hard to explain. Matt couldn't stop consuming it and yet it felt almost haunting within him, as if it were taking away rather than providing nourishment.
Yes, dinner was everything he wanted it to be. Matt sat up and threw on his UNLV fraternity t-shirt before standing up.
Something didn't feel right.
He immediately ran to the bathroom as his stomach exploded. He couldn't handle the pain. Matt wept as he emptied his bowels to the sound of his phone ringing in the other room.
Tears poured down his face. It was the damn salsa. That f***ing salsa.
His phone kept ringing, and there was no way he could go get it. But it didn't matter. He knew who was calling.
It was Kendall, just to say it was over. His fantasy season was over.
9.) (LW #9) Kaep Happy 2-7, 102.11 PPG [.125 NPRP]
Oh Cheryl, I'm so sorry. I feel responsible for this.
Even though you're in 9th in the rankings according to NPRP, you have the worst record in the league. Since I predicted a playoff run for you in week two, you've gone on a 7 game losing streak.
I just feel awful. I hope you're still happy and that you choose to come back next year. I think there will be a big comeback.
And remember, there is still hope for this team. You can win out and make playoffs. You are the ONLY team in the Eastern division who averages more than 100 points per game.
Plus, if you had Dave's schedule, you'd currently be ranked third in these rankings with a 6-3 record.
10.) (LW #10) VERSACE VERSACE 3-6, 92.889 PPG [.124 NPRP]
Oh Corey. Corey, Corey, Corey. I'm even more sorry.
Even though you have a better record, Cheryl's incredible PPG boosted her NPRP ahead of yours for the 8th week in a row.
You had a great week this week, don't get me wrong. And I have you highly favored this week against none other than Cheryl.
I'd write more, but you called to request that an ad be placed here.
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