Corey's Corner - Just business

What's up readers? Hope you all have been keeping well.

Yes, I know I haven't been posting a blog.

It's not because I am busy it's because I simply don't care to write one anymore.

It was fun to write when I thought people actually read the blog but now that I have come to realization that no one reads this thing I just don't care anymore.

So for now on I won't be cranking out a weekly blog, I will just write when I feel like it or when someone requests some "Hewett Humor"

So for my good friend Melinda I will be cranking out a Corey's corner.

Here we go

Imagine if you will that everyone in this league owned a business.

Then imagine the strategies and decisions they make in our league would be the same strategies and decisions they make running there business.

In this blog I will talk about 3 interesting people in our league and how they would run there own personal business as if they were running a business like there fantasy owner self.

First a few notes,

To the parents of this blog, I will be making fun of your sons. I don't think any of your sons would ever run a business this way and believe everyone of your kiddies to be very intelligent. Don't take offense to this blog as it's just strictly for fun.

Next, I will be making a reference to the movie "gone girl", if you haven't seen it I would suggest not reading any further, as some spoilers will be mentioned.

Alright let's do it.

My first example will be Curtis.

Readers close your eyes and imagine our boy Curtis in a suit.

Now open your eyes and wake up from that nasty nightmare.

Wow, that was scary.

I hope we all have to never see that again.

See Curtis is a mans-man type guy. He reminds me a lot like his dad.

Both of these men aren't "corporate" guys. Dave is very successful but he isn't spending his days locked away in an office. He is grinding away on the streets with his own personal business.

This would be how I imagine Curtis's work life to go.

I imagine Curtis taking over his dad's business and single handedly running it into the ground only if he ran it just as he runs his fantasy team.

I like to imagine starting off, Curtis needs some money since business hasn't been as good.

He is searching for investors and is actually pitching his business strategy very well.

He tells everyone business will take off and everyone will get there money back plus some.

He finally gets the money and for the first few months he does exactly what he said he was going to do.

He kills it and everything is looking great.

Then one day he wakes up and he just stops giving a crap.

He doesn't show up to work anymore.

When he does go to work,he brings equipment that doesn't work.

He runs his business into the ground and ultimately commits bankruptcy.

Every year Curtis starts off hot and then he stops caring.

He just decides to not set a full lineup and plays people who are hurt.

He talks a big game and gets people excited but by week 5 it's all done.

Hopefully in real life Curtis will always finish the job.

My next example is myself.

Let me first tell you how I spend my day in real life and then how I would spend my day if I ran a business as if I ran my fantasy team.

Normal day:
6am- wake up
6-7- watch tv and drink coffee
7-7:05 - watch Matt sleep
7:05- 7:30- get ready for work
7:30-8:15 - commute to work
8:15-5:30PM - Work
5:30- 6:15- commute home
6:15-10- watch TV/eat dinner/ have me time
10-10:15- write down personal thoughts about Matt in my journal*
10:15-6AM - sleep

*i think Matt is trying to kill me. I have noticed he is been becoming more and more aggressive as of late. He pushed me on to my bed a few nights ago after I told him I think I wanted a child. I am becoming scared of this man. I never see him all day and when I do it's at night and he always says the same thing to me day after day. This one word. GAINS.

What is he gaining?

I don't get it.

Anyways that's my normal life just being a simple old accountant.

Now if I had my own accounting firm and I used the same strategies I use on my fantasy team, oh boy.

Here's how my day would look:

6AM- wake up
6-7AM- talk to my head hunters and see if we got any new prospects that would work well with my business
7AM-7:15- head to work
7:15-8AM- work the phones and whoever calls I would tell them I'm the best and that my services are essentially a "lock"
8AM-12PM- my business goes down in flames
12-1- start calling other business making ridiculous offers telling them they can buy my business for insane amounts of money
1-2- do some under the table things
2-3- IRS calls me to let me know that I can't keep doing these "under the table things"
3-4- go on MSNBC and slam the IRS for making up these insane rules and that I am getting screwed by these guys.
4-4:30- start planning my revenge on those who have wronged me.
4:30-4:45- start contemplating if I care too much about this
4:45- quit

Yeah see I am not a very good fantasy owner.

Honestly, I stink.

Now for one my favorite people in this whole world...... Bobby freaking B

Bobby B running a business with his FF ideologies would be hilarious

1. He would recognize a weakness in his business and would refuse to fix it. He would constantly complain about it but would never fix it.

2. He would refuse to actually sell or buy anything from anyone else. The best part is he has no reason on why he does this. He would just sit all day in his office taking calls from other business men and whenever they offered him something he would say "noooo" in a little kid voice.

3. Whenever his business would start to suffer he would complain like crazy. He would make comments like "Jordy in marketing isn't doing anything" or "my top sales guy just got busted for beating his kid but I'll keep him on the payroll because I support that" or "my top sales guy got arrested and this is unfair, my top competitor should give me some type of compensation"

Then finally when business is back on  track he will jump out of his office chair and run thru the office with his shirt off screaming "jordyyyyyyyyyyyyyy".

4.whenever one of his lower level employees didn't do there job spectacular he would immediately fire them and look for a replacement.

5. He always give other competitors advice on how to better run there business and he would always talk to them like he is the best businessman in the world when clearly his business is just mediocre.

6. Most importantly, he refuses to prep for any meeting. He always tells others "I'll wing it"

7. When the fiscal year is over he will always think he had a fantastic year when he didn't.

Random man at the coffee shop: "oh you run a business, what was your profit last year"
Bob: "1 million dollars, some people say that's a lot"
*random man pulls up Roberts corp income statement and sees Roberts business had just scrapped by.

Business is easy, fantasy is tough

Corey Hewett- spends his weekdays from 8:30 to 5:30 doing something and getting money in return. He would like you all to know he is proud of Robert and all his accomplishments in his business life. Congrats again Bobby B.