Will's Wizard Wednesday Week 5

Well folks, it happened again. Cast back down to a shameful state of sadness and unsuccessful cockiness. I have a few things to say to my team.

Nick Foles: 3 points? An entire professional football game as a starting quarterback and you put up 3 points? Congrats on the choke of the century missing your running back on a third and long screen pass that you had to convert, also great play call. ya garbage

Jamal: ITS ABOUT TIME 28 POINTS AFTER NOT SCORING MORE THAN 3 ALL YEAR WHY THE WEEK WHERE ITS OUT OF REACH?

Reggie: Its cool man, I know you’re torn up about Kim’s baby and its really affecting your performance I understand. You could never have a cool child’s name like “North West,” unless you named your kid Harry. 

Dez: I needed at least 20 out of you this week and since you’ve had countless domestic abuse cases that haven’t been brought to light you’re already on thin ice buster. Step yo game up

Alshon Jeffery: I mean I can’t really complain about 10 points out of a receiver #2.

Greg Olsen: 3? 3 points? If you could talk to Cam about where his priorities are at during practice this week that’d be great unless you want to wake up as the running back for the Las Vegas Locomotives. You are 2 bad games away from being the Raiders new head coach

Cecil Shorts: WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR LIFE YOU COULDN’T CATCH ONE DEEP BALL YOU’RE THE ONLY THREAT ON YOUR TEAM YOU FINALLY COMPETE WITH A TEAM AND YOU CANT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT?! 

San Diego D/ST: Wow great pickup Will, nice try Cheryl

Janikowski: You’re off the team

Our next order of business is Cheryl, who I have to admit actually got in my head this week with the most psychologically troubling smack talk of all time, this is a conversation between me and Cheryl that occurred exactly one week ago.

Cheryl: “Dang. I was trying to get chargers defense too. How’s college treating you?”

Will: “pretty great, its beautiful here and I’m having a lot of fun. You’re not going to get in my head Cheryl”

Cheryl: “I’m glad your having fun! Curt seems to be enjoying himself too.”

Will: “I won’t fall for your trickery!”

I let her get in my head… Why would she text me this before our matchup, when she knows we’re enemies? Why would she not expect me to be picking up the chargers D when I get a new one every week? Why can’t she use the proper form of “you’re” at her age? 

All my questions went unanswered and I should have spent more time planning my lineup rather than pondering…

I have a tough matchup against my arch nemesis Corey Hewett which we all know is the most exciting game, the Rose Bowl if you will, of our league. I guarantee a win though.

Will Brown is a martial artist and a part time guy at college and wants everyone to know he is not in last place, by 4 points.