Lindy's Latte - Week One

The steamy waters have cooled and the morning desert sky dark, resistant to the creeping twilight. Short-legged dogs prance across the lawn, holding their bellies high above the lingering dew. Crossing guards shuffle tidy children weighted down by backpacks. Mothers gather at Starbucks, celebrating their fleeting freedom, unaware of the eternity of aloneness that will come after the schoolbooks, dirty socks, and dishes have disappeared. They pull out their cellphones, tap the screens and ponder which of their running-backs to start, which receiver to bench, and curse that all-star kicker who was suspended for drunk driving. Summer has officially ended, the draft is over, rankings have been published. I hope you’re holding your favorite morning brew for the first edition of this season’s Lindy’s Latte. I’d considered changing the title to Lindy’s limericks, but Corey nixed the idea. Here’s a sample of what is not to be.

First, take a sip of coffee and let’s get a few things straight 

The commissioner’s standings are open for debate 

Last year’s champion started last season ranked number ten 

Slowly, but surely, climbed kicking and screaming to win 

It’s week one of seventeen and we’ve all got a clean slate.

Randy Savages (1-ranked) face offs with (7-ranked) Hakka Flocka Flame 

By the numbers not betting on the Savages is utterly insane 

But the flame might be holding a sleeper’s edge 

Deep in the benches the game might hedge 

I’d hate to put my faith in old man Janikowski not using a cane.

#FreeJoshGordon (ranked-2) and Kessel Runners (ranked-6) match two Brown brothers 

While there must be a winner and a loser it will surely upset their mother 

ESPN predicts Hauschka bringing in obscene points 

That’s a lot of faith in one man’s loins 

I think the week will be settled between Kaepernick and Rodgers

Lucky Lindy’s Cobra Commanders (ranked-10) face (ranked-3) 53 Fire 

The history of ranked 10 teams makes the season look less dire 

Bobby B truly does seem to have the better team 

Yet the game might depend on who has the louder scream 

To hear the echoes of last year’s TIMMMBBBEEERRRR I conspire

Rank This (4-ranked) and Staff Infection (9-ranked) pair up on the Smith front 

Far away watching his games in the dorms at NAU Curtis is free to be blunt 

He picked well and is happy with his roster 

His team is well-rounded and built like a monster 

But having proved his fantasy prowess Dave is desperately in a repeat championship hunt

I Do L.T.P.A, with its undisclosed meaning, (5-ranked) faces off with (8-ranked) Luck has It 

Last year Cheryl’s rankings skyrocketed until her quarterback got hit 

Corey’s team’s name probably means “I Do Lose To Positively All” 

But such a statement would only make me look small 

Instead I believe both of these teams are ready to climb out of last year’s pit.  

All are invited to join us for Irish lattes this Sunday. Lindy will be serving these lovely cupcakes to go with:

Lindy directs the Nevada State Spelling Bee, is a freelance writer and novelist, and future Fantasy Football Champion!