Lindy's Latte - Week Two

Those Irish coffees were mighty fine Sunday morning, if I do say so myself. It’s a shame we can’t greet every morning with Grandma’s special syrup in our coffee. No, Sean, we can’t. But I’m confident each of you is sipping a hot beverage as you read this blog.

Let’s get down to it. No limericks this week, no nicey-nice “let’s not smack talk to anyone.” Game’s on and everyone is fair game. Yes, thanks to Bobby B, there is a theme to this week’s Blog.

Their going down, I’m yelling Timber 

You better move, you better dance  

Let’s make a season, you won’t remember 

I’ll be the one, you won’t forget 

  

The bigger they are, the harder they fall  

These big-iddy boys, are dig-giddy dogs  

They’ve got ‘em like Peterson, all suited up 

Struttin their pads and position rankings, Timber 

Heads down, hands reachin up, Timber 

That’s the way we like, what, Timber 

But their hands are slicker than an oil spill 

You say they won’t, but I bet they will, Timber

That’s right, ladies and gents, you’re all going DOWN.

I was lucky enough to be ranked #10 in the league after the draft, so there is nowhere for me to go but UP!

So let’s take a look at my new ranking system ((average points per game + (projected points for current week x average projection-actual variance)). I unfortunately didn’t save the figures from last week’s projections, so can’t factor the variance until next week.

Sadly, this formula puts my Cobra Commanders in first place with 256 points, which means I, too, will be knocked down before my team’s knocked up. Ha, wouldn’t that be miraculous. Week two slots me against last year’s champion, Dave Smith’s Rank This. I’m ranking, Dave, and I know it’s dangerous. With 183 points I currently have you in 8^th place. But I realize this just motivates you. With all the praise and lack of true smack talk, you haven’t even started paying attention. Goodness, I’m writing this Thursday morning and you haven’t even cut Ray Rice! [Editor's Note: At 5:57pm on Thursday, Dave cut Ray Rice] I predict you’ll pull out that trophy (or a picture of it), dust off your pent up aggression and do what it takes to beat the Commanders. Yet, I think I’ll still win! What would be the point if I didn’t!

Nick Brown, who should’ve been distracted in his football obsession last week by the presence of our lovely Commissioner Gordon, kept his foot to the floor and showed what he’s made of. Truly I feel he should be ranked number one, but his 241 points put him at numero dos. This week the newly named MF Boom (I don’t want to know) is up against Randy Savages, tied at 9^th with 170 points). Now Mr. Will claims a lack of concentration in last week’s game. The blue skies, the rolling waves, the chicken and waffles. . . I can see it. But I doubt he’ll be so le se faire this week. I predict the first tie of the season, or at least a very close game.

I Do Lean Toward Passive Aggressiveness, ranked third with 225 points, is hoping Big Bobby B’s 53 Fire takes a few weeks to get back up. I’ve got the Fire at six with 201 points, most of which come from this week’s projections. It’s been a busy week in the Brown’s Man Cave. Lots of reading, lots of waiver action, lots of smack. I think the big guy has finally put together a roster that will redeem him and that I do LTPA will lose the play again. Sorry, Corey.

I have Luck Has It at fourth with 216 points. I didn’t hear from Cheryl or any of the Smiths last week as they hunkered down over a filet mignon dinner plotting taking over the league. Maybe Cheryl was merely trying to buy Matt’s loyalty so he wouldn’t try to decimate her this week. Only Dave can tell us the truth, but his lips are sealed. Despite his victory over Will’s RS last week, I’ve got Hokka Flocka Flame tied for 9^th with 170 points. Cheryl, you’ve got this week, girl. Matt, you fell last week but from here there’s an entire season to move UP.

For those of you who may be out of the loop, Congratulations to Sean who started a new job today. While this will put some money in his pockets it will interfere with his intense NFL research. Kessel Runners, who I have ranked at five with 210 points, might actually benefit from this development since Dave’s lack of preparedness paid off with a championship last year. Curt’s Staff Infection (the name still creeps me out) has 201 points which puts him at number 6 in my rankings, making this the closest match of the week. Sean had some time to make his moves early in the week while Curt’s been holed up in AZ, apparently with his very cocky texting thumb. I have Sean to win. Oh, and Curt, did you know Cheryl was serving filet mignon last Sunday night? No, we weren’t invited either!

Without further ado, Lindy will not be serving filets this Sunday. But she will have some delicious Bloody Marys in time for the second half of the early game, along with a selection of breakfast items from Dirty Bob’s Café. This yummy cheese football with be available for snacking for the afternoon games.

Cheers to all and may everyone enjoy an exciting week of football.

Melinda (Lindy) Brown is best known for her domestic goddess endeavors, including but not limited to cooking, baking, wine tasting (ha), rubbing dirt, and lately her detox from PEDs. While they secured her a victory, the side effects aren’t pretty.