Will's Wednesday Week 2

How… Honestly how… 

This was supposed to be my year, I was finally gonna get a win week 1. It was in the bag, a “gimme,” some would even say it was “the lock of the century”

I was too casual, too cavalier, I merely watched the raiders lose and didn’t even consider the fact that I could be losing to [THE UN-NAMED TEAM THAT PICKED GIOVANNI BERNARD 1ST ROUND]. I finally looked at my phone only to realized I was being completely screwed, 2 points Jamal? 5 Dez? But there was still hope, i was down by 2 points and we each had one player. I had Reggie (Heisman) Bush, and he had Ryan (Glass-Clavicle) Matthews.

Imagine me monday morning, 9am class just ended and I wander into Jamba Juice, order a chunky strawberry bowl, turn around and what do I see? A man in a LeDainian Tomlinson Jersey? 

Okay, I’m in LA I’m sure its a coincidence… I’m still fine Reggie Bush is projected 14 points to Ryan Matthew’s 5 after all. Sean seems to think projections matter… Right…?

Sean also thinks your rights as a member of this league matter

He’s willing to fight for the greater good, and the trading of draft picks

End the Tyranny, End the conspiracy

-Sean Brown 2015-

(Paid for by the Sean Brown 2015 ad council)

Later on I was walking into University Hall for Philosophy class, and as I stood on the escalator (because you aren’t supposed to walk on an escalator people, that defeats the entire purpose. Just stand on it and let it take you down its not made to double your speed its a mode of transportation, seriously do you jump on an elevator?) I spy none other than an Antonio Gates jersey.

Well come on man, I’m sure that hispanic girl’s dad is just a fan of Antonio Gates, not the Chargers, no one actually supports that team still… Theres plenty of people here with Reggie Bush jerseys… Right…? Wrong.

Finally, I stumble into the lair, order a stir fry; chicken, shrimp, teriyaki, osaka noodles, nothing could go wrong. Until I saw it, right in front of my face was a man who stood no taller than 5’5 with a penny board in one hand and a plate of quesadillas in the other sporting a light blue number 24 San Diego Chargers jersey that read “Matthews” on the back. It was then I knew it was over… Destiny must have brought all these things so I didn’t watch a minute of the game and closed the fantasy app until my demise was confirmed by a simple “gg” text from none other than my opponent… Matt Smith.

Now last week I made some claims. Some certain claims that some would argue ultimately led to my defeat. Do I regret guaranteeing a win over Matt? No. Do I regret begging the almighty rankers of our league to drop me to 10? No. 

But maybe it’s time to keep my mouth shut, sit back, and see if my luck turns around? Not today, I guarantee a victory over Nicky B this week, sucka.

Will Brown is a full time sports writer who is extremely upset that he never got to call Matt Smith, say “Hey Matt, do you know Owen?” … “0-1!” and hang up.