1.) (LW #1) Rank This 6-2, 107.75 PPG [.189 NPRP]
I spoke this past Monday on the phone with Dave. He called me and said, "Yes, I received a call from this number?" From that point, I knew I was in for a full lecture of disrespect.
Among his diatribe, however, Dave posed an excellent question. He asked me, "When does luck become skill?" Dave even appealed to my inner statistician: "Look at the numbers, I'm first in the league in points and I have the most wins. When does luck become skill?"
Well, let me use a few numbers on you, Mr. Smith. Of your 6 wins, 4 have come off of opponents boasting their worst performance of the season. Of the players you have picked up off the waiver wire (5), 3 have had season highs, with only ONE starting at the time. You are currently third in points allowed, and have only won ONE game with your opponent putting up more than 100 points. Curtis and Melinda, on the other hand, have won 2 with one less win to go off of.
This week you play Curtis, who is currently in second place. I want Curtis to win, but the Saints are playing the Jets, so half of your team should be scoring points as NOLA runs up the score (as usual).
2.) (LW #3) Probation 5-3, 106 PPG [.172 NPRP]
Curtis, I'm honestly pleased with your honor and skill this year. You've beaten worthy opponents and I think you've put together one hell of a squad.
I knew coming into this week that I was going to lose. My rabbi even assured me otherwise, but something told me that a Curtis beating was in the falling of the leaves.
Well, damn. I didn't expect a 50-point ravishing of my boys, but good show.
The whole league has your back, Curtis. I hope you know that. The force is with you, always.
3.) (LW #5) Cobra Commanders 5-3, 105 PPG [.171 NPRP]
Coming in JUST behind Curtis is a woman who (allegedly) feels lost in the world after being "ashamed" of her team. Because life is hard when you're in the top 5 all season long.
Mom beat up her youngest son this past weekend with no regard for human life, which was sickening to say the least.
And, alas, she's found her way back in the top 4, which would normally mean playoffs, but...EVERYONE IN HER DIVISION WON THIS WEEK.
That's right, the entire West division won, meaning they moved up. In that division? Dave, Curtis, Melinda, Sean, and Dad. If playoffs started today, only Dave and Curtis would make it in, as only 2 from each division a spot.
So, even though she has cracked the top 4, more wins are needed to finish with a playoff opportunity in her first season. And that streak needs to continue with a second consecutive win against Bobby B.
Without that win, however, playoff chances begin to diminish. And hey, it could be worse, like if there were 4 western teams on top of the Power Rankings?
4.) (LW #7) ~ Roswelker 4-4, 104.25 PPG [.156 NPRP]
OH NO.
For the first time this year, the top four teams are all in the same division. And with a little less than half the season left, each game becomes more and more pivotal.
And for the team formerly known as What Would Jones Drew, time might be running out. For a team with the fewest points allowed all season, luck needs to kick in like it has for Dave's team all season. 2 games back with 5 left, Sean will need to make quite the push to finish in the playoffs for the second consecutive year.
And, by going up against the seemingly cursed Kaep Happy, that run is looking more and more likely.
5.) (LW #2) Mama's Homemade Salsa 4-4, 100 PPG [.150 NPRP]
Ouch.
A brutal collapse has seemingly soiled the salsa. 2 weeks straight without a touchdown from ANY player other than a QB means dismal numbers, and dismal numbers of course means loss after loss after embarrassing loss. One tough lesson of fantasy football is that even though you know some games will be lost, you never expect a blowout, let alone 2 straight.
Hopefully Mama runs to Costco and picks up the ingredients to start anew against the Broken Clavicles this week who, after seemingly giving up last week, should be an easy win. then again, sometimes easy wins are taken lightly, and that's how upsets happen.
Let's hope the Salsa does some soul (and spice) searching this week and finds themselves.
6.) (LW #4) ~ Mosstradamus 4-4, 99.63 PPG [.149 NPRP]
By one one-thousandth of a point, Mosstradamus is in second place in the East despite being placed outside the top-5. But don't sleep on the kid, this giant is punctual and willing to fly off the cuff at any second for a thrill (and a win).
After a beautiful weekend despite the loss to Melinda, Will is looking to follow-up on his shots with Corey earlier in the year and ultimately seal the coffin on Corey's Championship chances.
A win here could also propel William back up the power rankings and earn him a playoff spot as well as sole custody of the "chip" persona.
A lot is on the line, but I'll let those two discuss it more on their personal blogs.
7.) (LW #6) Broken Clavicles 4-4, 93.28 PPG [.140 NPRP]
After a week of awful trade proposals, insults, and Monopoly debauchery, Matt smith may have given up on his season. After putting up 50 points in a loss, it seems like all may be lost.
Just one one-thousandth of a point away from falling into the abysmal zone (ranks 8-10), Matt has a lot to consider here. His team is falling apart, his dreams are being ripped away, his relationship with Kendall is hanging by a thread, and his schoolwork is suffering because of it.
As the prophecies fortold, the Broken Clavicles are breaking.
But...what's this?
It's not over, you say? There's still a chance?
Yes! With just a few more wins, Matt may make a move into second or even first in the East! All it takes is a few big wins. The first of which is this weekend against the drowning salsa.
Having already defeated Nick earlier in the season, there's still a ray of hope for Matty the Kid.
8.) (LW #8) Insane Clown Posse 4-4, 92.5 PPG [.139 NPRP]
With a record day from Calvin Johnson and a slew of other players who Bobby B only knows partially (Boykin is Green Bay's #2 WR, and you mispronounce a league-high 62% of players' names), the old man pulled out another win, his third straight.
Is this a streak? It sure doesn't feel like it, since you've only moved from 9th to 8th with your horrific PPG. But hey, this week seems to be a week of redemption and rematches. Let's see what happens when the 25-year couple faces off for the second time.
This is like the Thanksgiving game of the Captain's League: you know who the better team is, but there's family involved and it boosts everyone's spirits.
And who knows, maybe Roberto Marron can continue his racha.
9.) (LW #9) Kaep Happy 2-6, 99.63 PPG [.125 NPRP]
This week I was watching the games when I turned to my Dad and said, "Cheryl's probably whooping you this week. Kaepernick is going off and so is Reggie Bush."
Just then, Bush fumbled and Dad informed me that he was up big. He didn't look back.
I feel awful about this. I mean, I would still back this team over Dave's. I mean, 6th best PPG despite only two wins, and the second-most points allowed? Not even fair. If Cheryl had Dave's luck, she'd be undefeated.
10.) (LW #10) VERSACE VERSACE 2-6, 92.25 PPG [.115 NPRP]
As long as we're discussing how lucky Dave is, let's look at Corey's team. This is the ONLY team to allow more than 100 points per game. That is astoundingly frustrating. No one could win with that. If Dave, Mr. "Look at how good I am," played Corey's exact schedule, he's be 4-4. Think about that.
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