Sorry
everybody I understand it is Thursday but I need to set a few things straight.
Firstly, Corey has been quoted saying that he doesn’t think of his own jokes
but he steals the best ones from movies. This is the man attempting to claim
superior creativity to I, Will Brown.
Lets
address the same issues that Corey did only bring them all to light
Fallacy 1: “Matt is not majoring in business. He is majoring
in marketing/advertising. He is in UNLV college of business.”
Wow, Corey, way to beat an Alfred Morris
(dead horse.) This is a debate that was previously discussed various times at
league meetings and even right here on the blog. I understand that at the time
I was on a roll and made a mistake regarding the college education of my
esteemed acquaintance, Matthew Smith. I
admit I am not perfect, and I understand you are. Then again if you were
perfect you would have won a game by now and there would be no special editions
of Will Wednesday…
Fallacy 2: “When you negotiate, there is a thing called
lowballing: offer a deceptively or unrealistically low estimate, bid, etc.”
Ah
yes, lowballing. Thank you once again Corey but I understand the art of
lowballing, Mr. Accountant. I hope you have time to read this before your test
on Chapter 5 “Income Management and Profitability Analysis.” I am a man of
honor and respect, (self-respect as you know) and when somebody lowballs me as
much as a Rob Housler offer? I have to say something. Don’t even try to act
like you wouldn’t have a similar reaction to me had you been in my shoes, but you’re
far too caught up in turning the entire league against me. Look Corey, that
happened week one, stop dawning on the past back when your team was ranked
decently, for all of us.
Fallacy 3: “There is a difference
between quitting and realizing when this season is just not your season.”
Corey,
I understand where you are coming from, but this is not a keeper league… yet.
Trading for draft picks will ultimately screw anyone over big time next year
and make your team ridiculously stacked. I’m not going to request that you are
not allowed to blatantly quit this year in preparation for next year, because I
still know that you could probably find a way to have a terrible team with
multiple picks in the first five rounds. But all I am saying is yes, you would
definitely be quitting, giving up, and accepting defeat/mediocrity this year
for a chance next year. I have not seen you make any big trades in attempts to
better your team, why try to bash mine? For Jesus once said, “before you make fun
of someone else’s fantasy football team examine how sad and pathetic yours is”
(Before you point out the spec in your friends eye first examine the splinter
in your own, but it applies.)
Ahh!
My favorite part of this column is the Carmelo Anthony comments, telling me I
don’t understand the game of basketball etc etc. I think you are absolutely
right Corey, in sports it is NOT about how many time you get the ball, it is
about what you do with the ball. Which is exactly why Randy Moss is a better
Wide Receiver than Terrell Owens (an argument that me and Corey have had for
years for those just tuning in.) Terrell Owens had a hundred more receptions
than Randy Moss and played more games than him, yet Randy has more touchdowns
and receptions for 20+ yards? Interesting. Not to mention Terrell had three
hall of fame quarterbacks passing to him, Steve Young, Tony Romo, and Donovan
Mcnabb for a combined 8 years. On the other hand Randy had three measley years
of Tom Brady passing him the ball. Not to mention the TO show was absolutely
terrible but Randy Moss saying he plays football for FOX is hilarious and he’ll
be there for much longer.
I
accept your challenge Corey, If I make playoffs I recieve 100% of Chip
Buckerman and you may never again utter the name, however if I do not you will
receive my 50% back and I shall never utter such a name
**If I trade for a Running Back the bet
is void
**If I pick up a Running Back on
waivers the bet is not void
I understand you are
trying to teach me a lesson here, but I don’t need to be taught fantasy
football by a guy who is 0-4 and who’s only threat has a bye week against me.
Please keep telling me how I know nothing about basketball because I think that
Kobe Bryant, five time NBA champion, MVP, Lakers all time leading scorer, 15th
all time in steals, 38th all time in assists, and the youngest
player to: win a championship, win rookie of the year, start an NBA game, and
make the all star team, is a good basketball player.
Love,
Will
Will Brown recently
joined the Mock Trial team and would like everyone to know that he is still the
champion of this league and should be treated with some level of respect.
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