Lindy's Latte - Week Two

      Week one with The Captain’s League was a real eye-opener for this novice fantasy team owner. I must admit to feeling a surge of power when Pey Pey scored his first touchdown and a twinge of pity for my admirable opponent after Pey Pey had racked up 53 points. This short-lived compassion even extended to a certain once-smack talking team owner who experienced a severe spanking last week. But sometime during Monday night’s game, any amount of sympathy I may have felt evaporated when I caught wind of an evil plot set forth by a young man I used to hold in high regard!

      Take a sip of your coffee and feel the burn slide down your throat and take hold in the pit of your stomach. The heat is on. My fellow female owner KICKED A*S last week and some members of the weaker sex are shaking in their shoes. 

Week Two: Serving Prince Charles Coffee

3/4 oz Drambuie® Scotch whisky
5 oz hot black coffee
1 1/2 oz whipped cream
1 tsp sugar

Pour Drambuie and coffee into an Irish coffee cup and sweeten to taste. Gently float the cream on top, and sprinkle with chocolate.

      Why Prince Charles Coffee, you might ask. Some of you might be too young to remember the relationship between Charlie and the ever more popular, more intelligent, better looking Princess Diana. Prince Charles just couldn’t handle the competition, couldn’t man up to the expectations associated with being next in the line to the throne and set out to thwart Diana’s success. He needed to find a lesser teammate to make him feel worthy – have you taken a good look at Camilla? Oh, how I get off topic!

      Certain unnamed team owners (naming them would break Cheryl’s heart) decided there needs to be a rule against females winning the league. Yes – you hopefully heard it here first or some of you more respectful team owners have ignored pleas from the weak-minded. Being the novice I am, I have no delusions of taking the belt, but Cheryl, who I know took weeks off work to study her charts and read every article written about every sleepy player in the league, well she could easily take this one and I have no intention of standing idol while the plot to thwart her thickens. I’m certain Cheryl would do the same for me, right? Right? At least I can sleep at night knowing my conscious is clear.

      So which players do I see cavorting with Prince Charles this week.

• Matthew Stafford will outscore Tom Brady(even with his reception record) giving Versace Versace an edge over Insane Clown Posse
• Even with his questionable calve, Janikowski will redeem himself from his low score last week and make Blair Walsh look like a kindergartener playing kick ball which will reflect in Rank This’s first loss of the season.
• Zach Sudfeld will be thwarted in his efforts to redeem himself.
• David Wilson will give LeSean McCoy a run for his money, but ultimately not be the one to give Mosstradamus the points he needs to silence Mama’s Homemade Salsa. The match up will end in a tie.
• What Would Jones Drew and Probation Probation each have several players who need to thwart efforts of more powerful and respected opponents. Maurice Jones Drew, for one, cannot stand for another week of humiliation and will outscore Frank Gore, while Eric Decker will be running his tail off to outscore Dwayne Bowe, but sadly fail. I’m afraid PP will still be on probation after this week’s performance.
• Kaep Happy may have nothing to prove, but Mr. Kaepernick does and he’ll thwart any effort of Matt Ryan to put Broken Clavicles ahead of the dynamic Cheryl Smith.

      Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. If said team owners who plot to prevent a woman from winning the belt would like a glimpse of possible future rants, make a quick read of The Woman Upstairs, a saga of anger and thwarted ambition. Or even quicker, drop by the Brown house on any given night and tell Sarah it’s your turn to pick her DVD. Keep your elbows out, head up, block your face, and take the hit.

Cheers.

Lindy